I will let go of you dear friends!

I recently stumbled on a blog post that describes some really useful pointers of derailing friendship and I found the submissions there somewhat true.

It is a known fact that friendships can last for a lifetime but some friends tend to draw apart from each other as the years pass.

It was explained in the piece that friendships tend to degrade if they are not being taken care of – that is a natural process that usually occurs when the two parties feel that they are no longer on the same wavelength.

The explanation in the post just rang too true for me as I realised that some of my childhood friends no longer bother to check on me. I won’t believe it’s a matter of being separated by distance now because it had started developing when we were residing right in the same country.

Just to keep our friendship alive despite being miles apart, I would call and check on them from time to time. But I later realised that some wouldn’t bother to call back until I would call them again.

Even during festive seasons when most people seize the opportunity to reach out and check on one another, they wouldn’t still bother to call while I would. Nevertheless, I have resolve not to let go of them yet for the sake of the adage that ‘old friends are gold’.

However, to some friends made ‘not too long ago’, who are exhibiting similar quirk, I will say ‘good-bye and good riddance!’

55065-Broken-Friendship
Photo only for Illustration

And to those lovely chums, who are forever in touch…you rock! Thumbs up dummy

Here are seven signs that your friendships aren’t very strong as highlighted in the post:

1. You get annoyed more often than usual – Friendships are supposed to be fun, and friends are supposed to be exciting about getting together – however, if your friend has started to annoy you or you notice that everything you say bug your buddy, then this is a sign that something is not exactly right with your friendship.

2. Your friendship is one-sided – This is one of the most obvious signs that your friendship is in trouble. Are you always the one who calls or texts your friend to plan a night out or a get together? Does your friend often reject your calls or does not answer them and then forgets to call you back? In that case, then you should be worried as friendship is not a one-sided thing.

3. You no longer have anything in common. This is a very common problem these days, especially amongst people who have been friends for years.

4. Your get-togethers are no longer fun. Do you feel that your meetings have suddenly become dull and boring, or that your friend mainly wants to meet you whenever they have something to complain about? While it is true that friends should be there for each other for better and for worst, it is important to understand that friendships are supposed to be fun and entertaining.

5. You have little to no contact with your friend. Did you notice that lately you have very little contact with your friends, when you used to talk on the phone or to see each other on a daily basis? If that is the case, then this is a sign that your friendship is in danger. There is one very simple “test” to figure out who your real friends are: if you two talk on the phone after a very long period of time and you still chat as if you haven’t seen each other for a couple of hours, then you two are destined to be friends forever

6. You are the last person to find out the exciting news in your friend’s life. Not only is this an obvious sign that something is terribly wrong with your friendship, but it is very bothersome and annoying as well.

7. One of the parties is excessively critical. If your friend has become extremely critical of everything you do lately, then this is an obvious sign that there is something that bugs them.

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4 thoughts on “I will let go of you dear friends!”

  1. So so true Noimot. I find distance and the perception (either true or not) that friends are now on different wavelengths the reasons for most friendships drifting and sometimes eventually ending.

    I like your efforts at keeping your friends close though and will try to do likewise. Old friends are indeed gold.

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  2. Good old friends! They’re almost irreplaceable. A moment of truth here: I had some awful colleagues back in school. Today, I don’t find many of them as awesome as I used to. No disrespect. It’s part of life; part of growing up. And, I’m not the type to feign cordiality where none exists.

    Problem is, these less fancied acquaintances usually feel one has become arrogant, snobbish and disrespectful. They can’t let go what’s irredeemable. Pity.

    I always feel that “emotion may warm reason; it must not overrule it”.

    Once a friend, not always a friend!

    While I don’t like to appear arrogant, I prefer to be straightforward. If I don’t call you as I used to for no reason then the cordiality is off the mark. When I notice a close pal doesn’t appear as close as he/she used to be I’ll ask the person what’s the reason.

    If I don’t find reason genuine enough, I’ll tell the person so. And that person isn’t worth all the stress of cordiality. Tough.

    Irritatingly, some formerly close pals still stick to shadows. Ignorant. Unfortunately, some do have the heart to brook animosity. Bad blood.

    Now I talked too much. Over to you, Noimot.

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    1. I really appreciate your candour Bayo! The most annoying part for me is when someone you’re trying to warm up to snubs you and fails to reciprocate accordingly and that automatically makes the friendship one-sided. So why not do away with such friends and be the happiest for it. Thank you for your time spent here.

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