Category Archives: Parenting

my lovers’ rivalry is giving me joy!

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I have been entangled in scuffles arising between two of my lovers with whom I started sharing my bed of late.

You may be surprised that I am divulging this my little closet secret or you may not even believe that I have more than one lover. Believe me or not, I have many of them!

Almost every night, these two fight over who sleeps next to me; if one seems to be getting too much attention, the other is immediately up in arms and ready to battle (most times it is the younger one that does this). This my young lover is really good at the gimmicks that the older lover is always cowered, but not until they have both exhausted their fuel in the duel.

Do I react on such occasions you may want to know. No I don’t! I do nothing but to grin from ear to ear and bask away in the euphoria of their love. I’m so much loving it and each time that happens it gives me this great and strong feeling that can make you conquer fast a monstrous mountain like Kilimanjaro.

At such moments, I can not but remember this Lao Tzu’s quote:

“Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart and the senses”

Now before you start to paint some horrible picture of me and before the Nigerian Police start to look for me for committing polyandry (beacuse I’m not sure whether a law similar to anti-gay law is in the offing for polyandry practitioners), I think I must confess who ‘these lovers’ are.

Truly, they are my lovers. The older one is my real life lover (spouse) and the other one is my adorable three-years-old daughter.

She can barely tolerate her dad near me. And with temperature still at its coolest in Doha, she has deserted her tiny bed for ‘our’ cozy bed (we feel she needs some warmth by allowing her in but quick to toss her back to her bed once she’s asleep). This explains why my bed has suddenly become the comfortable battle field for both of them.

You know what, these kinds of rivalry tussles, between both my daughter and her dad over me, was not my first experience. My other ‘lovers’ (sons) too did similar things when they were younger and also at about the same age (I think age has a role in being possessive).

I’ll relate here a wee story about my younger son when we were still in Nigeria. Some years back, he was only seven months when my spouse travelled to the UK (obviously for greener pastures).
He (spouse) came back after some thirteen to fourteen months by the time which the son was about two-years-old.

From the melodrama that followed father’s home-coming, it was obvious that the son didn’t recognise him (as the rightful owner of the throne) and that was the contention of the battle that started right from the bed (he was practically fighting him off the bed!). The rumpus would finally climaxed in the car one afternoon.

I didn’t realise my son had been really peeved seeing his dad take over almost everything I had been responsible for in his absence (such as driving the car). This particular afternoon, my son surprised us when he bellowed at his dad who was again behind the wheels: (I’ll say it the way he had put it) “let my mummy to drive now, you have drive ‘tele tele’ (‘tele tele’ are Yoruba words that could roughly mean ‘previously’ or ‘earlier on’).

We were both surprised at this unexpected outburst but later we busted out into roaring laughter just to calm him. We had to later explain to him that dad also has a right to drive ‘mum’s car’ too. And we have since then offered such moments a permanent residence in our memory disc.

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These kinds of stories never depart you because they are great family moments and I can’t remember how many times we have recounted the ‘let my daddy to drive’ story to the children, especially when something similar just happened.

Family is the greatest gift one can have!

What great family moments do you have? I’ll love to know.